Did you ever see a circus show where elephants walk obediently in a circle around the ringmaster? Why doesn't the elephant walk away? He can't. As a baby, he was fitted with a cuff chained to a stake. For weeks, in a state of panic, he attempted to escape. Then he gave up. As an adult, the chain is removed, and a single ankle cuff will suffice. In truth, he is free — but his powerful, 6,000-pound body is overpowered by his 12-pound brain.

He is unable to imagine the world any differently. And so he is trapped.

From the Circus to the Box

Is it possible that you have an imaginary chain around your ankle? What behaviors do you execute habitually? Chances are you're in a pattern: interview, non-revenue-generating paperwork, and — it's menu time. Ready, set, sell something!

Are you content with the results your current pattern is getting? Have you taken a deeper look at every step of the transaction? Could you tweak the interaction — a little here and there — to maximize your time and opportunity with the customer?

If you are still presenting a menu by saying, "These are mandatory disclosures and blah, blah, blah" — are you being completely honest and helpful, or are you simply doing it because you were trained to? I personally hate this approach. It's pretty obvious to everyone that you're selling something and don't want to admit it. Some F&I managers try to make it sound like it's a legal requirement, like a TILA disclosure. It's not.

Training Scars

In traditional F&I training, you are taught a method of presentation and scripts to overcome your customer's objections. This seems like a great idea, and you'll get some results — mostly from the confidence you built up attending F&I school. Over time, you lose some habits and settle into others. In short, you become trapped in a mental box.

In martial arts, we often see beginners master one move and then try to incorporate that move into every situation they encounter. The same thing happens in the box. You need to keep learning new moves. It's the only way to earn your black belt.

But even black belts can struggle. In the martial arts world, there's a concept called "training scars" — a black belt sees a better way to perform a move but cannot break the cycle of doing things the way they were originally taught or habitually performed. Fighters from different disciplines present different challenges. The same is true with your customers.

"Your preparation will always be narrower than the diversity of your customers and their circumstances. This is true of even the most experienced F&I professionals."

Every time you use the "One day in the shop could cost you…" close, it becomes a little less effective. It's less effective because, at some point, a customer will do something unexpected — go off-script — and present an objection that your word-track can't solve. You label them an "F" customer and move on. But should you?

Your preparation will always be narrower than the diversity of your customers and their circumstances. This is true of even the most experienced F&I professionals.

The Three-Part Process

When customers don't follow the script, you have to make a move to win their business. Here's how it's done:

1. Empathize with your customer. You are no doubt aware that many people don't enjoy the car-buying experience. Be sensitive and attentive while they are in your care. This isn't a technique — it's a posture. Before you present anything, understand where this person is coming from. What brought them in today? What are they worried about? What matters to them about this purchase?

2. Apply critical thinking to the words you say. Consider why you're actually saying them. Not because your trainer told you to, not because it's in your script, but because it's genuinely the right thing to say to this person, in this moment. If you can't articulate why a sentence helps the customer, it probably shouldn't be in the conversation.

3. Apply intellectual rigor to your entire process. Examine your potential improvements and results — then challenge yourself to adopt better practices when possible. This is the discipline that separates average F&I managers from excellent ones. Not reviewing what you did, but questioning why you did it and what you could do differently.

Being Real Closes the Deal

This three-part process can help you create a better conversation with the customer — one that develops in a real way and is in harmony with the core beliefs of you and your dealership. This may not sound like much at first, but people don't just buy products. They buy you.

The chain around your ankle is imaginary. You've been performing the same loop for so long that it feels like the only way to move. But the moment you choose to engage with a customer as a human being rather than a line in a script, everything changes. Your numbers will reflect it. Your CSI will reflect it. And so will your satisfaction in the work itself.

The box isn't a cage. It's a conversation room. Whether it feels like one or the other is entirely up to you.